INTERVIEW QUESTIONS FOR RENE REID
What is the new paradigm of marriage that you
feel is needed? And why?
"No one goes into intimate partnerships expecting serious crises."
But how can we continue to ignore the statistical data on divorce and
be surprised when relationships end? "I propose that our objective
be to emerge from our marital crises more ready than ever to make sound
choices either to renew and enhance our existing unions or to move on,
transforming feelings of devastation into uplifting new beginnings without
the usual sense of blame and failure."
How does the longevity of life impact the likelihood
of marriage lasting until death?
"As lives are extended through the advancement of science, it becomes
even less probable that a marriage begun at the age of 25 or 30 will last
for 70 or more years. It is conceivable that some men and women will experience
two or three 15-, 20-, 25-year treasured relationships over their lifetime."
How do you recommend dealing with marital crises?Taken from my own journaling: "The hardest part…is recognizing
when I've done all that I can do and can do no more. I can't change the
situation. I can only change me…. By letting go and focusing on my
own healing, I can feel that I am becoming healthier."
Is it realistic to believe that couples can part
as friends? How does this happen?
"It takes two very secure people with a strong sense of their self-worth
to transform their formerly romantic relationship into an evolving friendship….
For such an extra-ordinary event to occur, it needs to unfold gradually
over time energized by the ongoing healing and forgiveness of each other."
What is the process for going through the inevitable
grieving when a relationship ends? How can one come through it renewed,
healthy, and ready for new beginnings?
I have experienced this in stages: facing the sadness, feeling the anger,
seeing reality, seeking to understand what happened, rediscovering self-worth,
forgiving and asking to be forgiven, and risking new beginnings.
If not lifelong marriage to the same person,
then what do you see as the future of relationships?
For the more advanced individuals, I see marriage being replaced with
spiritual partnerships. "Marriage places emphasis on the couple's
shared financial and physical union, while those in a spiritual partnership
are more committed to their own and one another's spiritual growth….
It is a joining together of two interdependent human beings for as long
as they have something of value to contribute to the other as they form
a kind of spiritual bond."
How do you propose couples go about transitioning
their relationships when children are involved?
"If children are involved or anticipated, the couple might consider
a parental agreement made in advance. I believe children will be better
cared for if raised in an environment of spiritual relationships, regardless
of whether the parents stay together or grow apart. Separating the legal
and financial issues could well serve to prolong the duration of marriage."
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'Til
Death Do Us Part...
